6th May 2020, Wednesday
Up earlyish and out for a longer walk, ended up doing 5 miles, the longest walk since before lockdown. Hot out but it felt good to get the legs going.
Not much happening the rest of the day, bit of work, bit of reading, mostly just chilling really. I did spend some time writing as i’m mulling over a few sobriety questions that i’ve been asking myself. I’ll post them on here when i’m done.
I am still occasionally feeling a little sad, scared even when I think I won’t be drinking again, probably ever. I have to remind myself that moderation has been impossible no matter how much I want to believe that I can go down that road. The feelings are fleeting though and internal calm returns.
Meaningful May: Take a step towards one of your life goals, however small. I started making some plans towards my retirement, very small plans at this point in time but what i’m planning should remove quite a stressful part of my life, leaving me to concentrate on the bits I really love – because hey, an artist or photographer never stops doing those things, they are a core part of your being.