14th May 2020, Thursday
Again, another day of taking things easily. Another really good nights sleep, I feel so refreshed in a morning now and ready to face the day whatever it brings.
Once I reach 30 days sober I may not update this blog on a daily basis, unless i’m struggling or trying to work things out in my mind. I feel it might get quite repetitive day after day – “well here I am day xx, still not drinking” you get the picture… At the moment i’m feeling good about not drinking and don’t currently have any desire to start again. I know, after multiple goes that I now have to face the fact that I cannot moderate, I just end up right back where I started and I really don’t want to be in a cycle of multiple day 1s. Been there, done that.
I actually told my OH at dinner tonight that I’m never going to drink again. I think he was a bit shocked. He said “what, not ever, not Christmas, or birthdays, or when we go and see x and y?” I told him, no not ever again, I mean it and also talked to him about my inability to control or moderate drinking and that I don’t want to return to an unhealthy level of drinking again.
A fun Zoom call this evening with our friends x and y (mentioned above), they were both on the wine but I was on water and OH by then was on coffee (after a beer and 4 glasses of wine, not that I’m counting. OK I am). After the Zoom a really fun WhatsApp quiz with my sober buddies group, we had such amazing fun, so many laughs and not a drop was drunk. Love those girls, we’re getting to know each other really well.
Meaningful May: Show your gratitude to people who are helping to make things better. I expressed my gratitude to our sober group leader and mentor who had compiled this evenings quiz and who encouraged us to take part. I told her that I feel so lucky to have found such a wonderful group of other sober people who support each other, hold each other up when one of us is down and exude so much positivity, it’s wonderful